is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
