I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
