Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
the condom got lost in my hair
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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