I like to think it a success when the cops are called
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
