I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
