my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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