***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
