Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
