He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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