Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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