you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Oh god it's open bar.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
