I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
you would pick up someone in the library
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
