glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
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