I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
