I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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