i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
