Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
