so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
