I heard we made out
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Randomize
