I am spending my child support on dildos
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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