just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
