i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize
