So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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