What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
