Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
