Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
