I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
