Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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