So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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