I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Even my vagina gasped.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
