I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
