we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize