Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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