He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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