What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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