I love black thongs
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
