You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
