but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
