yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
