I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
