party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
