Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
