I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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