I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
