By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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