i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
