so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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