Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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