If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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