This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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