We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
