Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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