suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You need a sexual gate keeper
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
