I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
