What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
