The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
