I molested 6 butterflies tonight
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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