Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
