hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
