New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
