just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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