Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Randomize
