Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
