This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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