No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
