I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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