he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
