I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize